Don’t miss the wonderful stories that shared by Andre below
It was an unforgettable moment when I received the name card of Mr. Andre B. van Niekerk, Ph.D., Dean of the School of Business, Woodbury University. Never ever in my life have I ever received a name card in a black leather card holder wrapped with a beautiful silk red ribbon. The beautiful knotted red ribbon on the top of the leather card holder reflected how much of a well-thought and intellectual Andre is.
Andre not only impressed me by his presentation of the name card, but also his impeccable intellectual temperament! The way he expressed himself and the way he communicated with people always inspired me. I was very interested in knowing how he came up with his unique way of presenting his name card and I believe you will definitely benefit from his sharing.
1. How did you come up with the idea of putting your name card in a black leather bag with a beautifully knotted red ribbon? Why do you present your name card so differently from the others?
In Marketing, whether it is a product, company, or yourself, the main intention is to convey a message or image that will be remembered. In other words you wish to make an impression that will last for a long time. If it is about marketing yourself, then you want that impression to be simple and elegant. Also, in marketing yourself, you must be culturally sensitive and that you do not inadvertently insult someone by doing something out of the ordinary that would not be appropriate in the host’s culture. So, with something as simple as presenting a business card, either the card itself must make the impression (design, colors, type-face, symmetry of design, etc.), or the presentation itself must make an impression. But if you can have both the card and the presentation do this at the same time, then you have a double winner. So I decided to create this little black leather (simple and elegant) card holder and tied it with a simple silk red ribbon (silk for elegance and red because of the cultural significance towards the Chinese hosts - you and the others when we had met that day). AND, if the hosts wished, they could then use my card holder for their own cards after taking mine out – this means that the little black leather pouch has a long life because it will continue to serve a purpose and remind the host of me.
2. From the way you think, talk and act, it is very obvious that you are an expert in first impressions management. Can you share with us the secrets of giving a good impression, especially during the first meeting?
There is an old English saying “First Impressions Last The Longest.” However, I think it is true in every culture – the first impression is a lasting one – it is permanent. AND, you only have ONE opportunity to make a first impression – after that all further contact either reinforces or modifies that first impression. This means then that the first impression needs to be very genuine - a reflection of truly who you are. If you try to make a first impression merely to influence or impress people, then at some point your true self will be discovered and the first impression will turn sour, which in turn means that all possibilities for a productive and meaningful relationship will be completely destroyed. Taking the presentation of my card as an example, if the first impression on you was a positive one, which it obviously was (thank you Priscilla!) then all subsequent interactions must support that first impression. It all comes down to being genuine and sincere in the subliminal messages given by first impressions. In the end, it all comes down to character – and character is something that parents, teachers, and role models nurture us into. But at some point we ourselves become the stewards of our own destiny and our characters are really who we are and what we project to the outside world.
3. Would you share with us one or two of your personal experiences on how a person has actually impressed you and given you a very long lasting good impression? How did these experiences affect your response towards him or her?
Seventeen years ago I was sitting in the parking lot of a very large corporation waiting for my appointment time to arrive before going into the building. I knew the management very well. The owner did not believe in assigned parking for executives, including himself. As I watched him drive his car around the corner to the only parking spots that was still available at that time. At the same time, another person came in the opposite direction, saw the parking space, sped up, and quickly parked his car, quite rudely cutting off the owner who actually should have reached the parking spot first if the other guy did not act so rudely. (I found out later that the individual who did this, did not know it was the owner of the company) The owner gave him a big smile and waived him into the spot, the owner then went around the back of the building, found a spot and parked, then went up the back stairs to his office. The gentleman who grabbed the parking spot was there for a job interview and I am sure he must have wished that the ground would swallow him up when he was ushered into the owner’s office for the interview only to discover that this was the man he so rudely robbed of the parking spot a few minutes earlier. Well, you can imagine what possible scenarios could have played themselves out! But, this company owner was a humble man who held no revenge in his heart. I was told later on by his vice president who also sat in on the interview that the owner immediately sensed this man’s discomfort, but he also wished to put him at ease because he was a man of generous spirit. (He certainly could have aborted the interview and send him on his way!) Instead he said to him: “We never seem to have enough parking around here. Tell me, what of real value could you bring to this company, and tell me how you would nurture those people who would work under you so that your best character traits will help them to grow and become a successful person such as you?” The man was both stunned and humbled because he expected to be dismissed from the interview. Long story short – he got the job. This man still works for the company, now as CEO, the owner has retired. About five months ago I met with this CEO, we laughed at the incident, and he relayed to me how this was the lesson of his professional life. That first impression the owner created became a behavioral role model for this man’s professional career. The owner showed humility and the true power of an executive – the power of transformation through a kind and generous spirit.
Back in 1949 a man picked up a wallet at the entrance of a department store. He looked inside and found what is today’s equivalent to over $2,000 dollars. It was two days before Christmas. There was absolutely no identification in the wallet, just the money and a telephone number on a scrap of paper. He placed the wallet in his pocket and that evening when he got home, after completing his own Christmas shopping, he called the number on the scrap of paper. (Remember, that was in the days well before cell phones and internet!) No-one at the number he called had lost anything. He told the person at the other end to call him if they heard anything about a lost wallet. Early next morning the phone rang, and the lady on the other end relayed the message that late the previous evening the mother of a friend called and was crying on the phone because her daughter had lost her wallet with her monthly pay in it – a whole month’s work and just before Christmas! The gentleman discovered that no-one in the family owned a car and their home was about 30 miles away from where he lived. He got the information and drove all the way to deliver this wallet to its rightful owner - one day before Chirstmas. When he arrived at the house the young lady came to the door and her face shone with relief and delight as she saw her lost wallet and to discover that ALL the money was still in there. She offered the man about $20, which he politely refused. He was then invited in for tea, which he accepted. While there he discovered in conversation that there was no male head of household, the mother was in a wheelchair and that there were two younger children in the home and that this young lady of 22 years old was the sole income of this family. In his heart he felt SO good about driving all that distance to deliver this precious money to this needy family. You see, this man was my father, and I, at age 5, accompanied him on this errand to deliver the wallet in the little town of Benoni, South Africa, so many years ago. While this was not my first impression of my father, a man of true character, it certainly was a reinforcement of the man that I knew him to be.
Have you ever wondered why one woman will buy a particular dress and someone else will buy a completely different dress, even when they are buying it for the same event? Consumer psychologists tell us that what determines our clothing choices isn’t so much the style or colour of the garment, instead the psychological make-up of the purchaser. So, when you look for new cosmetics, a new handbag, or a new pair of jeans, what you pick depends on a whole lot on how you see yourself. Subconsciously before we buy something, we ask ourselves, "what kind of a person am I, and what styles do people prefer me to wear?" 
